Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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