doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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