i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
