The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
