I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
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