cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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