New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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