i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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