More tranny stories later!
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
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