Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
