No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
