so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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