I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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