I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
