Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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