I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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