Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i think i have herpe
just one?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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