you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
