ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
