she takes plan B like it's going out of style
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
