is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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