Duck Duck Cougar?
My balls are so social today.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
