i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
