I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
