I'm pants shitting drunk right now
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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