I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
