I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
