Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
