two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
