so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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