just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize