i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Text me some of your sweat
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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