im drinking this country out of the recession.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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