Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
