I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
