Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Terrible idea I love it
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
