i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Randomize
