Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
