She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
