Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Randomize
