He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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