how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
