I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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