fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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