i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
