"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
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