I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
