We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
