if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I'm sobbing to NWA
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
