Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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